live it live it live it.

ahhh well .. i really fanciedd writing a blog, so i thoughtt ooo why not (:

soo i dont really have any thing specific that i want to say apart from its 10 days to my birthday & i cant actually wait i am spending it with all the onesss i lovee & care for:] & well thats all i can ask for really:) they're all amazing in there own way, they all make me laugh and smile and every day i spend with each of them is one to remember. i'm so glad these are the people i call my best friends:] they may laugh at me or think i am strange or bully me for my unique ways & tell me to shut up when i speak really loud but through it all i know they're always there for me if i need them. MUHAA <3

onee quotee i like right noww isss... dont live in the past or the future, live in the moment.
and what i think it means is like you may want to bring some things back from your past but you cant so just smile & laugh at it & treasure it has a memory. And don't think ahead to all the exams you may have coming up or thinking what if? just think about the moment your living and live it to the best you can.

when your alone dont upset yourself & cry, dont get angry because you think you have messed something up, because no one can write a new beginning but everyone can write a new ending. so stop worrying about everything & just let life flow, your in control no one else. so make your own choices & do what you like not what others want you to do. love your self for who you are, not hate your self for what your not. smile at every oppurtunity & treat your friends how you want to be treated.

my best friends, i love you.

wooow.

WOOOW.
i love it how your all depressed & now you got the one thing you wanted back & everythings all ok for you, everythings jus fineee, & your lifee is amazing. well doesnt matter thou does it, cause if your okay, thats all that matters rite... i ment nothing to you right, because if i did i would of thought i mite of had some kind of cluee, you would of thought anyway.

you get all moody with mee cause i dont meet you, you say you have work so i meet someone else, then last minute you change your mind and then expect me to ditch my plans to be like yeaaah sure. then you bitch about me to one of my bestfriends thinking they wont tell me, you always said wow shan, i hate seeing you upset & people treating you so shit. but look what your doing rite now? ever thought about that. cause you mite not realise it hurts to feel like your not good enough for someone.

one minute we argue & then we're fine & then we're drifting hardly talking, yanno what i hate it. i just want it to all be fine & the past months to be forgotten but the truth is they cant, can they, how much we can try to say forget the past, lets move on. we cant. maybe you have began to & yes i am soo happy for you, but just feels like once again i am gonna be second & basically nothing.

hess a dick, then he isnt, then he is wow make up your mind. ohhh thats rite i am jealous of you, yeaah totally?[y] well done. ahh seriously i just cbb with you sometimes. your nice when you want something other wise you just treat me like a little kid who doesnt have any feelings.

& you well i just dont no, i wanna trust you & i wanna just be all happy but i cant, i cant lie to you like i am fine cause i'm not. sorry. you try help so hard, but sometimes you dont really understand what i mean, & then you go do or say something stupid & it all just goes back to square one, like a game of snakes & ladders.

LOVE

i love i love i love.. i love theee hot sunny days walking home from school with a 20p ice pole.

i love the feeling of the shower water going down my back.

i love getting all cosey when i get home from being out in the pouring rain.

i love looking out my window watching the rain drops.

i love the taste of cookiesss with a hot friji milkshake.

i love the feeling of a hugg from a close friend when you need it most.

i love the feeling of my bed as i rest my head.

i love my netball, the feeling of getting a interception or doing the team proud.

i love spending time with the family just getting along, with no arguments.

i love being with my bestest friends & just being able to be me.

i lovee sleeeeeping and dreaming.

i loveee all those things & so many more:] but there just a few[a]

drift.

driftingg...
one of those things that just happens with out a say init, one of those things you can stop but choose not too. one of those things that can get to you all night & then your like wow i just wish.. i did that or this.. or when you say to yourself hmm.. thought this would never happen but it has, what do i do now? so you sit there wondering, on your own, what did i do to make this happen?:/

i say hi, you say nothing. i ask to meet you ditch me. i try so hard to cheer you up when your down you shove it back in my face. i'mm upset you just tell me how its my fault. but doesnt mean i want us to drift. i'm sorry.

bestfriend. four years. nothing.

its always the ones close to you isnt it, the ones that you care so much a fucking about that you end up drifting from, no matter what you do, no matter how many conversations you can have saying bestfriends forever(yn) it means nothing unless they prove it. friend ship is on a scale & to make it work you have to keep it balanced, give & take.

never take a person for granted, hold every person close to your heart, cause you might wake up one day & realise you have lost a diomand while you have been to busy collecting the stones.