just a blog.

Well hello blogger i'm sure you weren't expecting me ay? Well here I am, I said I wouldn't leave you & I keep my promises. Wow here I am sitting at my laptop talking in my head to a laptop, now I don't sound to weird or anything. Ah well:) As normal i'm not to sure what I am going to write about so.. where to start? .. So the conversation that comes up every day of my life. love. people smile because of love. people get angry because of love. people laugh because of love. people cry because of love. people get fustrated because of love. people feel every bleddy emotion there is because of love. But you can't stop yourself.. you can't stop you lips from lifting when the thought of someone you love, loves you back, or puts there arms around your waste, you can't help but cry when you feel that someone doesn't feel the same about you, you can't help but become angry when someone lies about loving you. but why is it this subject means so much to us? is it because we are brought up on fairy tales and with out 'love' we wouldnt be here? is that why love plays such an important part in day to day life. we love our friends, we love our family, we love food and then we love a certain person. Why is it being in love makes one person seem hundred times better than anyone else..? Why is it suddenly they're more important? Why is it you sooner be with them? Why do people leave others behind for one person, who may not even be there in a few months time. So I thought I was in 'love'? It sure felt it at one point and it sure felt like my heart got ripped apart by the end of it. But I also realised I was becoming someone i'm not, a total control freak and my emotions weren't getting any better, but now I feel like i've crossed a storm and have found a straight but bumpy path, at the moment theres no forks in the path just one long path with know other ways. So at this point in time I am just taking day my day on this journey. But soon it's going to get harder.. but I think I have been coping ok. I've been doing a lot of mocks recently mainly english and one in ethics. But friday I have my graphics retake. dun dun dun. I honestly can't begin to explain how under confident I am feeling about it, it's the worst i've ever done in an exam a F. WHY? I revise my ass off for a F. It's just fustrating putting time and effort in for simply nothing. And then on Monday I have my ELBS exam.. which I am not to sure how I feel about that exam..:/ not to nervous but not confident. But one thing I am happy about is my Maths, I retook my number exam late November & got a A* honestly was shaking with happieness so proud of myself but then I got myself worked up over these exams coming up which is just annoying. But I am just going to revise and once again do as good as I can. Ah I just remembered I have a cope project to be in for tomorrow LOVE MY LIFE. I better get that sorted to print tomorrow.. So what else is on my mind? FOOD.. as I am hungry. I had a lush chinese on friday just what I needed except we were all nackered so it didn't really do ourselves any justice. And we ordered way to late. we try have a chill night but we just epically fail nothing ever wants to go to plan for us.. but we always find a way to laugh it off in the end. One thing I am very excited about is PROM:') I got my dress the other day its beautiful let's just hope I look beautiful in it, with my hair & make up done.. fingers crossed. But still I don't even know how I am getting there?-.- I like to be organised because then I don't have to worry. I hate worrying but I do it nearly every second of the day! always something to worry about. Also I want to go prom with my best friends but my bestfriends arn't best friends with each other:/ sometimes I just wish I had a big group of friends, but then I like having a selection of friends because it brings out different sides in me. But it just makes a lot of things more difficult. Like they will happily get along for my birthday and stuff, but they personally wouldn't chose to be near one another. Which is hard, because they all mean loads to me. And then there's other friendship groups as well & it all just gets a bit confusing from there out. Also I am going LONDON soon with one of my bestfriends then we're taking her France:) which I am exciting for.. hopefully we don't end up annoying each other and ruining it for one another. But I am sure we will be fine just want to get away now. Had enough of this damn country and some of the people in it. The stuck up bitches, the sex obsessed, the depressed, the boyfriend addicts, the immature idiots, the dicks. Get to spend it with my french friends who tbh are just LOVELY!:) AHHHH.. but the journey is 13 hours or more thats just harsh. Ah well.. car games, sleep, foood and music will get me through it I am sure! Honestly would write but i've lost my flow. So here it is. ALSO I would like summer now I think:')& if I havn't said it enough already saving money is balls.