I don't know what to say anymore because I feel like I should put myself on repeat because know matter how many essay's I can send you, no matter how many long talks and girly days out together your still hurting, your still fighting to put on that brave face which I know you have. I never thought being 15 would be this hard.. I suppose when your little you don't really understand anything other then food family presents school and colouring in the lines of a picture. It hurts to read some of the things I have read to know that it wasn't just me feeling this pain which I would never in my life wish on anyone. It hurts knowing I can't do anything because whatever I do is barely touching the surface of helping you. I know your not the only one having your down days either.. why does it have to be you? why do you have to suffer? I don't even care what I go through anymore because right now it's not important to me.. it just isn't. I want YOU to be happy and I want you to smile but mean it not just because you feel you have to.

sitting in a crowd of people feeling so alone, lying in bed and your mind is just tiking over and it's not stopping it doesn't until you look at the clock and it's 3 o'clock, your defence is breaking, your smile is fading and the tears are streaming down your face and you look in your reflection you feel sick to the stomache and then you sit down and curl yourself up, telling yourself this will all go away.. days pass.. weeks pass.. even months and you come back to this place again and it hasn't gone away it only feels worse and you don't understand what's happening to yourself. slowing loosing every reason to try, every reason to live. So you come to this stupid sollution and you think it's going to sort your every problem until you look at reality and realise you couldn't be more wrong. remember those walls you built well there all tumberling down and everythings one big blurr. But your not alone, trust me.. take my hand and I will look after you, i'm no angel but I am your friend and nothing can stop the need of protection I feel I should give you and how much one friend can make a difference, i'm no fresh face, i'm no different to any other person but I promise you... once i'm in your life, I'm always gonna be there.