as the years go.

slowly each year comes and goes, all different but similar in their own way. you have the fall outs, the make ups, the break ups, the smiles, the tears, the hugging someone so hard you never want to let go cause you're scared your gonna lose them or the looking at someone for ages because your glad you have them by your side.
i'm 14 and 15 in just three days, yess i am excited but almost scared because it feels as i am stuck in one place as i get older & older, i feel the same as i did when i was in first school, i just feel as if i will never be ready to grow up, to live my own life, to make a living. surely i shouldnt be worryiny right, like i said i am a teenager these are meant to be the BEST years of my life, but i cant help but worry, because its took me so long to realise, that being young is going to be best years of my life and you only live once. i scared i'm scared i will lose the people i call my best friends and i guess i cant except that.
these past two years i have grown up and learnt alot about my self; i'm sensitive, i'm loud, i have the quickest mood changes its unbelievable, i laugh when i shouldnt, i smile when i can, i block my feelings out till i'm alone and then cry and ask my self why? i can't ever really make sence of my selfs, & i am shite at making desisions, & more, and reading that over i have found something else about me i can be very negative even when i dont wanna be.
right now i am focusing on my gcse's, woo how much fun right, especially when you have amazing teachers -_- haa i wish lol. naa, i am just gonna keeep pushing my self because i really wanna do well:] most subjectss predicted b's & a's & a couple a* which i was completely over the moon about, i felt soo happpy it was unbelievable, i was actually capable of that. And then i went to my drama teacher, who was praising me & spotting out my strong points & i just felt really good about my self. someone telling me i wasnt completely useless felt good, and i'm not saying any of my friends say i am, but you no when you get that feeling & you feel just completly useless, and not needed, andd abitt merrr. well i guess i was just being silly because someone who is completely useless doesnt have friends like i do, like i said its my birthday in three days and well i feel so happy to be spending it with them. fingers crossed, spite the weather i shall have a amazing day:) well i am going to leave it on that happy note now its not finished but i am tired & wanna watch eastenders so night peoples & stay happy :)