...

I'm a pessimist my mind eats away at it's own positivity. I've got a second University offer, but I'm still not happy. There is still something wrong. I constantly maximalise every problem, escalating something small into something big. There is no winning in my head. Even when I'm with someone, I'm alone. I get paranoid about the most stupidest things. There's parts of me that know it's just me being silly, but there's this other part that can't quite understand it all. That hates me. That won't let me be happy. I doubt myself until there's nothing else to doubt. I want it to go away. I just want to get through this year with the grades I need & hopefully with a great future at University ahead of me. I will try, but I know I can try harder. I know there's still more I can do, I just wish I could persuade myself that I am good enough and trying harder will make a difference.