Choice

Do we have free will or are we determined? Don't worry this isn't actually going to be a blog based on the subject of philosophy but it will definitely intertwine with some free will and determinism. Choice. Do we have the choice to do otherwise in every situation or are we predetermined? Is everything just a chain of events? We all like to think we could do otherwise for one reason or another, maybe it makes us feel less guilty or maybe it gives us reason in particular situations. Whatever the reason is if most people were asked "do you believe we have free will?" The most common response I believe that would come of this question is "yes, yes we do". Why is it that we can't handle the idea of our lives being out of our control or the idea that we just follow the lines that were drawn out for us? Many people say they could just get up and move away, but how many people do? Many people have dreams of being famous and successful, yet how many people do? Other times we say to ourselves why me. Why does this have to happen to me? Seems quite a selfish thought, but then again if you don't look after yourself then no one else will. Recently I have had a couple of these thoughts. Cancer is a bitch. Cancer should probably get cancer and die and leave everyone to be happy and lead joyful lives. But it doesn't happen like that. Two of my relatives have now been diagnosed with cancer in the past six months and it hurts. However close we may not be now, they will have always played a part in my life. What hurts the most is knowing that I’m living a life where I take people for granted. These two people I haven't seen for a year, since my great auntie died a few years ago, things changed. The Christmas visits stopped, the cards and the phone calls came to a halt. Slowly these people have disappeared from my life. And that hurts, it hurts a lot. Maybe this wasn't totally my fault, maybe I didn't or don't have complete control. But in a few months I will be 18, I don't have any excuses. I'm not a child anymore. If I want to do something I should just get up and do it right? We all know it's not that easy, we all know with each day of life there is a new barrier. I have only been on this earth for 17 years, what do I really know. But from those 17 years, I have learnt something or should I say learning as I'm not quite there yet. People come and go. Some people will shove you down and others will be there to pick you back up again. But you, you will always be there for yourself. Or so I hope. In every situation think about yourself, don't be selfish but don't lose self-respect. Don't lose ambition. Today I have realised there is only 11 weeks of college left and tomorrow I'm going to London for my first applicant today. Tomorrow is going to make everything become so real. This time next year I could be living in London or Leeds or Cardiff?! My life will have changed. I'm scared but I know in the back of my mind I’m doing the right thing, I want to experience life properly. I want do think I can do everything I've always wanted to. However is my life full of my own choices and decisions? Certain things seem out of my hands. For example my relatives, I don't know how much longer they have, I don't want to live in guilt, because I know they would never want me to. I want to make something out of myself, for those who have come before me. I may be scared now but if I don't try, I’ll never succeed and I’ll never know if anything I want in life was possible. So all I can say is do what makes you happy and prove to yourself that anything is possible if you just put your mind to it.

If you don't try, you'll never succeed.