the little things

sooo.. you could say i am blog obsessed, just writing blog after blog probably none of them even making sence to you unless you know me, but this is somewhere i come to get all my feelings out so sorry if i babble on a bit too much.

well once again i don't no where to start.. so here goes nothing.

change. people. life. one road.
i see life as a one road experience full of different things, mainly people. who may be your friend, your enemy, your relation, the person you love. life is one big journey that i don't think anyone really understands, everyone different, everyone having there different thoughts and feelings. i my self am starting to think of life as a gift. life is full of lots of emotions and can feel like one big rollar coaster. sometimes you can feel like your at the top and nothings going to stop you, but then you can just drop and everything can come crumbling down, some people at this point do something called 'giving up'. which tbh myself i dont no exactly what that is. some people look at life as a battle, because i guess it is, full of lots of tasks, others dont actually care, they just do what they like when they like. what ever the consequences.

rollar coaster; slow going up, fast going down, hiddnen turns and loops.
life, slow going up but when your down it hits you fast, full of surprises and twists.

..... had a little break ....

so where am i going with this blog, to be honest with you i don't no. just trying to make all these thoughts in my head make sence. i just wish i understood my self and the people around me, because what am i doing so wrong?

loosing someone completely is hard enough. loosing people who are still here, is harder because it never ends and you always blame yourself.

your not who i thought you once were, why can't i just get over it. why do i remain to look back.. on the past. its just on going.. every day the same thoughts go around my head, what if i did this? what if? what IF? i care about you and i probably always will, but i can't just let this take over me and how i feel.



memories can last a life time, but sometimes the people you share those memories with don't.

so today was kind of my new start, but really is it? well we will see, i just want to focus on the important ones & my self & just making this last year of school worth remembering, it would be silly to waste it on being angry and upset. i want to make this change work. to be the person telling everyone to smile again, not the person being told. to laugh so much it hurts and not to wish i could. to be dancing along the road listening to my music, how silly i may look. to take this gift i have been given and live it to the full.



when you sit alone, you get time to think, about the ways you feel,
sometimes the thoughts that go through your head can seem so unreal,

the thoughts about how that some people are no longer here,
then you see the memories in your mind so bright and clear,

i try to be brave and smile and not cry,
because sometimes in life its good to say good bye,

so that people are put out out of pain,
and can feel happy once again,

its ok to feel hurt when you lose someone close,
this is a feeling at the moment i feel the most,

but i am building that bridge to get my self back up,
to smile until my hearts content till you have all had enough,

so watch me smile, watch me laugh, watch me get through the days following this path.

FINIIIIIIISHED after 4 hours or more:L sorry if its bad[a]


shaannnnnnnon(STEVIE)