What's next?

Starting a blog annoys me. Being a perfectionist makes it ten times harder. I literally could sit here for half an hour until I was actually 'happy' with the first sentence. But fuck it, let's just pretend i'm happy with it & carry on typing. So it's the 5th day into 2013. So I might be the only one who thinks this, but saying 2013 is weird. It just doesn't sound right or actually seem real. I feel so young. But i'm 18 this year and to me that is crazy. It seems silly but I never thought i'd make it this far, when I was younger I thought i'd never become an adult, I'd never get older & i'd never have to think or care about anything other than the colour of my paint or the next decent thing on tv. But this year is full of decisions! A year of growth and change. By the end of this year I could be living in Cardiff or London? Not a little county in the South West. I don't want to wish the year away but I know the next 12 months will just feel like a blink of the eye and I'm scared. Really scared. I will feel lost with out my friends, my family, my job, my routine. Every day I wake up & I know what I need to do college, netball, work, friends... it's just so normal and every day. No big surprises. It's easy to a point. I do want to take risks; I do want to experience more. But sometimes more than anything I want a person to experience it with. I have a small family but within my family everyone has 'someone' and for the past 5 years, I have always been the baby, the one everyone takes pity for because they have no-one. My eldest sister is happily married & has her first child and my middle sister is engaged & is about to celebrate graduating university. Then there is my Mum and Dad love each other through thick and thin, drive each other up the wall but always come out smiling. Then there's me. The one who invites her best friend to a family meal because she doesn't want to be alone, the one who sits with her cat in the evening like a old crazy cat lady! I'm not saying I want to be married or have children now, but I would like this year to bring me something more. But we shall see. Enough of the soppy shit. Plans for this year apart from obviously meeting my prince charming and riding away on white stallion and becoming a billionaire and a famous actress. And curing cancer. So they're the obvious. I'm also planning on passing my exams, going to university, seeing Plan B & hopefully Professor Green, going to London (If I don't go to the theatre this year; I will fucking cry! Just sayin') Celebrate my 18th & my dad's 50th! Hopefully visit the new baby Pedrant and just enjoy every bloody moment with my closest friends! That is all. Love you all.. Oh wait not you. I hate you. Just kidding, you're my favourite baby.

The photo has no significance, but what the hell I love dogs. Especially dogs this fucking cute.