bedblog.

step by step i take each day. no more do i ask for much. a smile a day will do me. because a smile is better then none. i dont know why i still think about the past but i get i'm finding it hard to move on. not knowing where i belong. people who you call your best friends.. are just not anymore. then theres nothing you can do about it. because that was the past and everythings changed. no matter how much they tell you they care, you cant believe them. because you've lost trust in everyone but yourself. not purposely, not meaningfully. but because you get hurt, you get walked over until you deside letting anyone else in will just hurt more. so you sit, look back at what you had and cry because you no longer do. in ways its for the best but it doesnt stop you missing it, it doesnt stop you from getting jealous or wanting to relive the memories. then to add to that i dont think you care.. these past weeks just seem like i've lost you. i keep trying, but i dont think you notice. maybe you dont do it on purpose, but when did that ever stop something from hurting? i dont enjoy feeling down all the time and i dont enjoy anyone taking advantage of me using me for someone to lean on when they've hit rock bottom. few months left and schools over. all these memories, fanished, start fresh. if only every day could be a new day, so you could refresh as much as you wanted. but sometimes you have enough of being sad and instead of the streams of tears, you get the one or two which hold it all inside. when i write i dont really think, it's just the first lot of mumble which comes to my head. i love to write, i'm not that good but i find it interesting to read over and its a easier way of telling someone how you feel. soo.. its 1.16 and tbh i should be asleep, but i cant. meant to be doing a heck load of coursework tomorrow but at this rate i am gonna be to tired, i suppose i should try to sleep and not get upset. good night blogger, thank you for being there(A)