Don't get your hopes up

So, the suns out.. have any of you had personal thoughts saying how happy you are that the sun has decided to show it's face? But then tell yourself to shut up because if you think happy thoughts then something will come down & crush it. Or is it just me that does this on a regular basis? I never seem to enjoy what I've got because either I doubt it's real or just keep doubting that something will go wrong no matter what. For example you're really enjoying someones company but then you tell yourself that they'll soon get bored of you so just shut up for a few days and leave them alone. I actually hate it. It's obvious a couple of thoughts won't have an impact upon what a person thinks of you surely, they can't read your mind. But I can't help it! I'm unbelievably paranoid and if someone doesn't talk to me suddenly, I worry.. a lot. It sounds silly doesn't it? But I suppose that is me! I care a lot. But how can you tell the difference between someone you should care and someone who is just being a head fuck, because it's either i'm to sensitive and have no trust in anyone or this person is actually fuckin' with my head. It might be both. But it's weird they sound so genuine but i'm worried. I'm not ready to be crushed again ergh asdfghjk.