It's sad but it's true.

So I sit here night after night, telling myself to man the fuck up and be happy with who I am and what I've got, but I can't. Instead I dwell on how lonely i'm feeling, how unmotivated I am and how the only thing I look forward to is going to sleep or coaching. Why will I not wake up from this, I feel selfish and I truly want to stop it and all these stupid thoughts, but I can't. Just wish something would make it go away.